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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25305718">this, if anything, is my destiny</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Poem? - Freeform, i guess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:33:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25305718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>i wrote this for a school assignment 2 years ago. Still think its good</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alistair/Male Warden (Dragon Age)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this, if anything, is my destiny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h2>
  <span>Character: Alistair Theirin from Dragon Age: Origins</span>
</h2><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiles</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and I realise</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I never want him to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lothering is small a </span>
</p><p>
  <span>town I’ve never been to a </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Town I never thought I’d want to go to it’s a</span>
</p><p>
  <span>farming town.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The darkspawn are on our tail I can</span>
</p><p>
  <span>feel it deep in my chest pulling me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>back to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is some sort of savior,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>listens to the people and</span>
</p><p>
  <span>runs around preforming their errands</span>
</p><p>
  <span>giving them some sort of false security </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The darkspawn will not touch you here.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>I try to talk to a child and I don’t know how.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not like him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the child runs away to his mother .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He releases the Qunari and holds out his hand smiles</span>
</p><p>
  <span>bright,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>tells him “I’m Aleksander,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>and invites a murderer into his life with open arms, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>when I ask him about it, he looks sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He says, “Aren’t we all murderers at this point?” and I</span>
</p><p>
  <span>can’t deny it. My mouth tastes sour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spares the men threatening us in the tavern</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and listens to that chantry girl’s false prophetising,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>welcomes her and smiles at her</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and I doubt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the way out of Lothering there is a rose</span>
</p><p>
  <span>standing bright in a bush that has all but wilted;</span>
</p><p>
  <span>all but died.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something beautiful in the midst of darkness;</span>
</p><p>
  <span>clarity in chaos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All I can think is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aleksander.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I cut it, and I press it into a book.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A month later when he hears that</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lothering has fallen to the Blight,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hides away in his tent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I think I could hear him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>crying and I </span>
</p><p>
  <span>thought about the rose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the way to redcliff something keeps me on edge keeps my</span>
</p><p>
  <span>head cloudy</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and my heart racing and</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aleksander touches his hand to my face I wonder</span>
</p><p>
  <span>if now is the time </span>
</p><p>
  <span>and I hesitate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Make up an excuse he</span>
</p><p>
  <span>nods but he looks concerned</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Morrigan and the Qunari look at me funny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All I can see is Aleksander.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look,” I say as we near the castle, stop him with a hand to his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have something I need to tell you before we continue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand finds my cheek again and he smiles and </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>this is a mage, Alistair </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>this is a man, Alistair</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>this is the last surviving grey warden save for you, Alistair</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>this is the future, Alistair. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything. You can tell me Anything.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>And I do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It spills like black ink from my mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Morrigan looks on in disbelief when I tell them I am Maric’s son,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am the half brother of the previous King Cailin,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am a bastard prince and </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am a grey warden</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and Arl Eamon was the closest thing I had to a father</span>
</p><p>
  <span>despite his crass words and</span>
</p><p>
  <span>empty presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to treat me different. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m still the same Alistair!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aleksander smiles</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and there’s something soft in his eyes that makes me feel </span>
</p><p>
  <span>something deep in my chest and it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> then the darkspawn</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and yet entirely the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I brush it off with a joke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am terrified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few days later he saves redcliff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He met a man in the dungeons who made his eyes grow soft,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>enveloped him in a hug that </span>
</p><p>
  <span>lasted forever </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I busied myself looking at my hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man, Jowan,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ran away,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and Aleksander’s face fell</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and I can’t figure out what it is I’m feeling</span>
</p><p>
  <span>or maybe I don’t want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back in camp, he gives my my mother’s necklace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ask him how he got it and he</span>
</p><p>
  <span>said “Eamon,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I told him the story behind it and he listened,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>took my hand in his and leant his head onto my shoulder by the fire</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don’t know what we’re doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I like it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rose is still in that book, hidden tucked in my bedroll.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wonder, and I decide against. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Not yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A man, an elf, an assassin,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>tries to kill Aleksander.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet we win, tie him up and </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Morrigan kicks his side ‘til he wakes up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aleksander spares him, asks him if he wants to join. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I feel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I feel small. I disagree and Aleksander's hand is on my arm,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I relent,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>because he knows better than me. He’s better than me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprisingly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don’t envy that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hurts and I </span>
</p><p>
  <span>can’t really see</span>
</p><p>
  <span>everything looks blurred</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and bright and</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I think I hear Aleksander’s voice I </span>
</p><p>
  <span>say his name and his hands are brushing back my hair he has</span>
</p><p>
  <span>such nice hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has magic in his veins and he’s whispering</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hushed things as he presses his palms flat against my chest</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I think i might be bleeding but it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>doesnt seem to matter all i want</span>
</p><p>
  <span>is for Aleksander to stop sounding</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so </span>
  <em>
    <span>broken</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>my chest is numb and </span>
</p><p>
  <span>his hands thrum with something </span>
</p><p>
  <span>bright,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>something whole something</span>
</p><p>
  <span>utterly magic I </span>
</p><p>
  <span>hate magic but i think</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i might love him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too” he cries,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>but it’s quiet</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it’s soft</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>and I wonder </span>
</p><p>
  <span>and</span>
</p><p>
  <span>everything</span>
</p><p>
  <span>grows dark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we recruit an enchanter at the circle of Magi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>her name is Wynne and she</span>
</p><p>
  <span>has a sort of wisdom settled in her bones</span>
</p><p>
  <span>that radiates safety,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>radiates kindness</span>
</p><p>
  <span>she is willing to sacrifice whatever she can to save others and I</span>
</p><p>
  <span>wish that i was a little more like her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We don’t kill any of the mages in the tower, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>fight actively against the right of annulment,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it strikes me at some point that this tower</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the confinement of mages</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the packed together bunks and the</span>
</p><p>
  <span>corridors lined with age-old stone</span>
</p><p>
  <span>this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>this is where Aleksander grew up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I fight a little harder to preserve this;</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I fight a little harder to preserve him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I fight a little harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before the deep roads I</span>
</p><p>
  <span>stop him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ask everyone to move on he looks</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a little skeptic</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a little concerned a</span>
</p><p>
  <span>little worried</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pull the rose out, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>still red, still</span>
</p><p>
  <span>beautiful still</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aleksander</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cries and</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he always cries but</span>
</p><p>
  <span>this is happy and open and I</span>
</p><p>
  <span>fumble</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i always fumble</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he cups his hands around my jaw and pulls my head down until </span>
</p><p>
  <span>our foreheads touch I </span>
</p><p>
  <span>never realised how clear his eyes were</span>
</p><p>
  <span>how green</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw it in Lothering and wondered how something so beautiful could be in the middle</span>
</p><p>
  <span>of so much death and chaos.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aleksander watches my eyes, and i continue, scared </span>
</p><p>
  <span>but not alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>never alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it reminded me of you&gt;”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and Aleksander kisses me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels strangely like home,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>like how the wardens before me described the Calling</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a duty and an end to something </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>something that pulls and pulls and pulls</span>
</p><p>
  <span>as if it is your destiny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>if anything,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>is my destiny. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
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